She Knows, You Know

Well the truth is out. Finally she knows what I feel, what I want and what I have been doing this last 10 days or so.

After coming home from work, she launched, yet again, into one of her famous rants about fellow workers. Of how they're so nasty to her and make her life a misery! Also, I was regaled with the age old story of how she is worried that she will be blamed for a problem at work. How her boss will turn on her and her life will become a misery..... again!

Shit!

If there's one thing I most certainly wont miss,

it's that self piteous victimhood. 

Yuck. There can be no doubt that I have consistently found this part of her personality the hardest to bear. And to be honest, of all the things I found disagreeable in the relationship, it was that which caused the initial tare, and it was that which kept on pulling until the our union was ripped in two. She doesn't know this, of course. I did try to tell her, many many times that I didn't like the constant negativity and resentment that she brought home literally hundreds of times. Yes

Hundreds!

Well, at about 6pm she had said that, so miserable was her working life here in the UK that she often wondered if she should just pack her bags and go back to her country. Somehow I saw this as a opportunity to tell her about my true feelings regarding the relationship. In retrospect I fell that it wasn't the best of times but lets face it, there was no good one. I told her that I had found a small flat and would be moving out. Quite naturally she called me a fucking bastard, grabbed the phone and went out, slamming the door behind her. I went out to a local cafe and spoke to a member of AA for an hour before tonight's meeting.

Relieved but terrible.