Swimming for Sanity

Just a very short blog today as I am tired, and have no real desire to concentrate on writing anything much.

In short I continued with my packing, and have cleared out everything from under the bed in the spare room, and much of the stuff above the cupboard. I also removed my Denon amp and speakers from the scene. The pile of stuff in the garage is quite impressive. It's strange, but to see your possessions piled up in such a way is quite shocking. I still don't think that anything looks different on the surface. Nothing has been touched in the living room, and all is as it always has been. I am quite certain that my partner is none the wiser of anything.

I also filled out and handed in my Change of Circumstanced form this morning. I think it was a JSA 3 form. I am not sure how long it will take the social security office to get back to me regarding my application for income based job seekers allowance. A while I suspect. They're quite busy. I just hope that all goes well and I am entitled to the benefits. My experience with the whole benefit system in the past has not been very good, or successful, and this puts me on edge a little.

I am looking at a property tomorrow. I then have another to see on Friday and two more on Saturday. I really hope that I will have said yes to something by next week. I will feel better knowing that I have somewhere to go when the shit hits the fan home here.

Later on this afternoon I went for a swim at the local baths. I have not been for over a week. When the dust settles I will resume my thrice weekly visits too the pool. I find it so relaxing to be in the water, and feel that it did me the world of good today. Doing lengths is very mediative.

This evening I went to an AA meeting. I walked there and back with a chap who I have recently gotten to know in the fellowship. Actually, I have known of him for over 8 years, as he was a member of a group that I used to go to. However, recently we have been speaking to each other. He has been helping me emotionally with everything, and I feel that he likes the company as well. Having had experience of breaking up with a number of partners he is a good person to talk to at such a time. The meeting was OK. It's the willingness to go that's important some of the time. Also, I really did not feel like being at home this evening. Indeed the less I can be at home in the evenings the better I think.

Sometimes this feels like a strange dream that I am trapped in. Am I really going to split up with my girlfriend of 7 years in the next few days?

Yes, I am.