This morning I began to get organized, and commenced packing up anything that I could in to boxes. As a result there is a big pile of stuff in the garage that's good to go. I have been able to prepare everything without making it obvious that anything much has changed. My books are still in the bookcase. And my CD's are still on the shelves. I don't want to make it apparent to my partner that plans are afoot, and departure is imminent.
This afternoon was spent with a fellow member of AA outside a cafe. I discussed my fears and the sadness of what is happening. He understood, he's been there. The only difference being that he is gay, and therefore he broke up with a guy. His husband. Still, it's the same regardless of the sexuality. It's still massively painful.
This evening was hard. We ate tea together (pizza and coleslaw) but not much was said. I told her in the kitchen, whilst the pizzas were cooking that it would be better if we parted, and I could see her trying to hold in the tears. Shit. I hate this, and I am in hell.
I came across this music tonight, and have been listening to it. I remember this band from the old days. From the 1980's. They made me happy then, and they have made me happier today. God knows I need something to cheer me up. I keep trying to had it over and have faith in my higher power. But it's still horrible.
The Bhundu Boys.
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